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Posts Tagged ‘writing workshop’

Clarion SD

It used to be called Clarion East, but got moved to San Diego, so yeah, I’m going with Clarion SD for now (or UCSD? Maybe?).  Anyway, I got accepted.  I’m crazy excited.  This is especially amusing considering my agony over whether to even apply or not and the fallout from that and then finally my decision to apply to Clarion SD.

Frankly, I didn’t think I’d get in.  Not because my writing sucks (it doesn’t) but because “not sucking” is not enough.  Hundreds if not more people apply each year and they only take 18. The math just wasn’t in my favor.  But with the instructor list I couldn’t resist applying.  I knew I’d kick myself if I didn’t try.

I tried. I succeeded. Crazy.  I’m still reeling. For the first couple days I figured it was a mistake, they’d mixed me up with someone else.  But that seems to have not been the case.  It seems even in success the self-doubts that plague me still stick around, heh.

I don’t know about scholarship money yet. I’m only panicking a little.  My husband and I talked it over and we’re going to do whatever we have to.  I want this. This is the point in my career that Clarion will likely be of most value for me.  I am big on continuing education and this is a huge opportunity to further my writing and my network of writer friends.

So yeah. I’m going to go dance or something and then go write like crazy because I need to sell some more stories. Meanwhile, if you want to help… I do have some e-books for sale.  The links are in the “read my fiction” sidebar.  Every penny helps and will go toward Clarion at this point.  Thank you to those who have already bought (I crossed the 100 e-books sold mark at some point early this month) and to those while will in the future.  It really does help.

Ok. Time to put on some Amanda Palmer and dance around a little. And then I’m going to work.

Clarifying Myself, Again

Wow, I didn’t realize that my musings on whether or not to apply to Clarion/Clarion West would stir up the pot so much. Heh.  I guess it’s like writing anything, you never know when something will strike a chord or a nerve.  (Some of this post is also in response to some private conversations, so don’t think I’m necessarily replying here to any one person, I’m not).

So, to clarify, because clearly some misunderstandings about what/why I’m debating applying/going.

First, for the people who’ve just found this blog and haven’t read any of my older posts where I try to explain my process/speed/goals etc… I recommend this post.  And again the caveat, everything I say here applies only to me.  It might resonate with others, but I’m just talking about my experiences, my thoughts, and my writing life as it applies to myself.

My last post was just me wondering about Clarion and if it is what I need right now in my writing life.  That was it.  I asked for experiences/thoughts from those who had gone (or even just applied, I’m always happy to hear other people’s reasons for things) so that I could figure out for myself what I want to do.  I would never apply to Clarion without planning what might happen if I got in, that’s just silly to me.  One, it would be a waste of the application fee if I decided not to go and got in, and two, it would be poor planning in general (it’s six weeks! Even self-employed as I am, taking six weeks off/away from home isn’t simple).  So if I do apply, you’d better believe I’ll have sorted out how to afford it and if I want to go or not.  Hence my wondering aloud about whether it is what I need right now (or really, almost a year from now).

And, frankly, I don’t think that Clarion is for everyone.  It isn’t just a matter of being able to do the work (one story a week? Read the goals/speed post. I’m really not worried about the work load).  I’ve talked to a double handful of people who’ve been through one of the Clarions now and while some rave about it, some don’t.   And I don’t know if it is right for me. That’s all I’m debating.  No value judgments here, just personal musings.

My reservations about applying/going: one, the round-robin critique style.  I’ve done it, lots.  I don’t really enjoy it anymore.  I think, personally, that it is too easy to get hung up on minor things because you are “critiquing” and therefore have to find something wrong, and I think it is easy for a writer (especially a beginning writer) to try to take everyone’s suggestions and possibly re-write their story into mush.  This has been my experience with round-robin style.  Feedback is good (I have a couple groups of first readers, whom I treasure and love (when I don’t want to kill them) and should probably bake cookies for more often).  Too much feedback just for the sake of having to say something, not so good.  I’ve also got my editing cycle down to a science that works for me.  It’s a quick cycle, and while I learn from feedback, I don’t re-write in the traditional sense anymore. Ever.  If a story is so broken that I’d have to do a major edit, I start over.  I’m a learn by doing sort, and doing for me is writing, not rewriting.

Second, six weeks is a huge time commitment.  It’s also something I’d have to plan my writing goals around.  I don’t write nearly as consistently when I’m not in my home space, so I’d have to try to adjust for that.  I’m also an introvert, and social situations drain me, so that is also something for me to consider. While I’d be getting a story a week done at the least, as I said in my last post, I’d be experimenting a lot (after all, isn’t that what workshops are about? Stretching yourself?) and don’t know how much of that writing would be in the “do over” category.  Next year my plan is to write four novels for e-books and four for traditional submission.  Losing six weeks means a bit of a time crunch.  It’s doable, but I’m lazy, remember? So I’d definitely need to plan (and being an introvert, honestly I’d probably lose more like eight weeks- the one before Clarion and the one after on recovery).  Clarion/CW’s focus is on short fiction, and while I’m still writing some short fiction (goal is to keep 40-50 shorts out at a time, writing to replace the ones that sell), I’ve transitioned to novels because my goal is to make a living and novels are good for that (and I like writing them).

So yeah, those are my current thoughts.  I know that I’d learn a lot and meet many interesting people if I applied/went.  I don’t doubt that for many people, Clarion/CW is a great stepping stone in their writer journey and that the experience is amazing.  These are things I’m considering and weighing against my other thoughts.  Basically, it boils down to this:

Do I want to go to Clarion or Clarion West? Yes.  Can I afford to go money-wise? Maybe (I could figure it out).  Can I afford to go time-wise? Maybe (again, I could figure it out).  Do I need to go in order to have a career as a writer? No.  Is Clarion/CW the best use of my time and resources for my writing/career goals right now in my life? I don’t know.  And that final question is all I’m trying to answer here.

Hopefully that clarifies things.

Now, to put down the blog (and Starcraft 2), and go finish this novel.

O Munde, hodie aliquid vincam!

Workshop Week

I’m headed out shortly to go the Coast for two Dean Wesley Smith workshops.  First is a novel workshop, the second a short story one.  I’d be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn’t totally nervous, but hey, worst that can happen is … wait… let’s not think about that. *grin*

I imagine in reality I’ll just learn a ton, and at the end of the novel workshop at least I’ll have my novel wending its way to the desks of editors, ready for the cold harsh evil world.  And I’ll get to meet a lot of interesting people.

In other news, I’m back in nail biting territory on a couple of submissions.  Having a nice spreadsheet that tracks what is where and how long each rejection took etc is very nice.  Having all this information so that I know when a market is behaving differently from the 5-10 times previous that I submitted? Not as nice.  Right now two, yes two, markets have held stories far longer than they usually do.  And a third is right at the query point, which they’ve done to me before (last time I got a very nice, detailed rejection on the day I was going to query).  So either somehow all three stories were lost in transit (I know that at least one wasn’t because of the email auto-reply), or they are all maybe getting real consideration.  Yeah, yeah. I know I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or trying to dissect what it all ‘means’ because it probably doesn’t mean anything.  But I can’t help getting anxious.  Le sigh.

I’ll take notes and hopefully have something more interesting to say after the workshops.

Worldcon Report (of a sort)

and then I’m getting back to writing about writing, I swear *grin*

I got home from Worldcon with the flu, so I’ve been medicated out of my head and curled up with a fever and racking cough this whole last week.  It has especially sucked because one of the good things to come out of Worldcon was that I came home with ideas leaping out of everywhere for all of my current projects and some totally new ones.  I feel like I just lost a week of my life, thanks flu!

One of the things I meant to do right when I got home was give a more in-depth report on Worldcon.  But there are con reports out there and it’s been a week anyway, so I’m just going to mention a few thoughts and highlights.

The workshop was well-run and while I won’t say it was a bucket of fun, I found it informative and helpful.  This was the third time I’ve workshopped Space Bones (and the third form the story has been in), and this workshop liked it the least over all, though I’ve read through comments on the drafts that were handed to me and there are some nice comments that no one bothered to say aloud in the workshop, which is ok but did give the impression that it was universally panned when it wasn’t exactly.  However, I think that this story has reached the point where I need to shelve it or rip its guts out and try something a little different.  I know the story I’m trying to tell.  I read over the comments and my notes and I see that the story I want to tell is getting lost somewhere in this version.  I like this story too much to give up on it, and besides, it got a very near miss with one editor, so it can’t be that far off something *someone* would like to read.  I have some ideas on how to change/fix it, so we’ll see if I can make it work better.  I found the level of crit in the workshop on par with Baen’s, blunt but understandable/helpful on a whole.  Plus it was good to get to talk to people and meet them without having to introduce myself to strangers.  Context is a good thing.

Another highlight of the con was meeting a bunch of  local Portland writers. A bit funny that I haven’t met a single local writer until I went thousands of miles away, but oh well, I’d have to probably leave my house and put up with that whole introducing myself to strangers thing more often.  I have new blogs to follow and hopefully a few local connections for people to chat about writing (or whatever) with.   I also connected with some of the not-local to me writers whose blogs I follow, though that involved a fair bit of stranger talking to, but I held it together, mostly (I think a couple people caught me on the zomg 1am oversocialized talky edge of things, heh…sorry).

Some of the most fun panels I went to were the Odyssey, Clarion, and Anti-workshop panels.  I mention them here because in some ways I’m glad I didn’t get into CW this year (sniff).  I’m much better informed now about what the different workshops entail and what might be the best fit for me.  The Odyssey grads were especially helpful in this, and I think it’s moved to the top of my list for next year (pending what the instructor list for Clarion SD looks like, of course…).  Not that I won’t apply to all three, but I’m thinking of seeing if I can get early acceptance to Odyssey since they do that.  Of course, after my sound rejection from CW, who knows if I’ll get into anything next year, but I’ve been working my ass off to try to improve and getting the “almosts” to prove it.  Hope and Spring and all that.   Oh, funny thing about the Anti-workshop panel and the Clarions panel, they almost ended up being opposites.  The Clarion grads all admonished people to be sure they knew what they were getting themselves into, while the anti-workshop (really, the hey you can do it without a workshop panel) ended up agreeing that it can be really helpful.  Go figure.

This leads up to the strongest message I took away from Worldcon after listening to countless professional writers and editors.  Everyone gets there on their own path.  No ones methods look the same, no one followed some careful formula for success (well, other than work hard and write a good story), no path to publication or agent or finished drafts look the same.  Which was comforting, because sometimes I feel like I’m diving in face first and hoping thats water down there.

Over all, I’m glad I went (flu notwithstanding).  Now, back to real life.  I need to revise my list of things to do and add in the new ideas/plans.  It’s about time for another “things to get written” post, so I’ll work on that for sometime this week.  First, however, I need to reread a few chapters of Chwedl so I know what I was thinking when I quit (has it really been a month since I worked on it? Eek. Momentum loss, anyone?) and then start the writing.  And maybe do something with the stack of hotel stationary I scribbled all over in Montreal.

Worse? or… Better?

Got my workshop assigment for Worldcon.  (Yes, I’m obsessing… this is me, remember?).  The people leading it are freakin awesome and people I’d love to meet.  The other two people in it with me? Also awesome, which I was able to glean via google.  Thank you google for making me even more insecure.  Both of the people with me are published already.  On the one hand, I can’t wait to get their stories because I’m betting the stories, even in draft form, will be pretty darn good.

On the other hand, and it’s a big hand, I’m somewhat intimidated.  I realize it’s just a workshop, but this whole damn con is in some ways my introduction to the spec lit “scene” so to speak.  I’m freakin new to this whole writing as community thing.   I’ve taken huge steps in the last year.  Joining OWW was a big step (strangers! seeing my writing! oh noes!).  Getting into an MFA program was a huge step (professors! seeing my writing! oh noes) (dropping out was another step, though Iv’e decided to commute that to a sentence of a year off to think about things and look at options).  Starting to actually send things out on submission was the biggest step of all (editors! seeing my writing! oh n- you get the idea).

And now going to Worldcon.  I got my feet wet at NorWescon (pro writers! seeing my writing! oh noes!) and had a blast.  I know objectively that I’ll be fine.  I’m looking forward to putting faces to names and now that I’ve gone over the huge programming schedule, there are definitely interesting panels to go to.  I’ll have way too much to cram in, I’m sure.

And the workshop.  I wonder if I made a mistake subbing a story I really love that’s on version 9 or so.  It’s gotten a few form rejections and a couple positive rejections, but still, it’s just rejected at this point.  I subbed it because I’d like to hear not only how to improve it but really I’m hoping to understand why it isn’t quite hitting the editorial spot.  But man, between the starry list of workshop leaders and the two other already publishing workshop-ees, I’m  intimidated.  I know objectively that I’m nowhere near the number of rejections where I should start wondering if it’s me/the writing, but subjectively I have high standards for myself that so far I’m not meeting.  I’ve watched what happens sometimes in workshops to the worst story in the room, so to speak.  It often isn’t pretty.  Not that I fear people being mean, I doubt they would be.  But as an introduction to people I might want at least a professional relationship with, well, being the worst writer in the room… it’s scary.

I just keep returning to the W.S. Merwin poem “Berryman”.  “You can’t ever be sure”.  I don’t know if I’m ever going to be any good at all.  But I’ll keep trying.

News Quickie

Apparently they are doing a workshop at Worldcon.  I sent in two stories, so far I’ve heard they’ll likely have a spot for at least one of them, so we’ll see.  My NorWesCon experience was nice and positive and very helpful.

So I’ll get to be workshopped by some more pros, which is awesome.  Hopefully they can tell me how to get my stories over the “this is really good, but no thanks” hump…

Casimir What?

My writing class workshopped the first three chapters of Casimir Hypogean and I’m a bit surprised by the response.  It was generally liked, a few even liked it better than Space Bones (the short story I had them read last time they workshopped me).  The criticism I got was fairly mild stuff compared to the huge problems I thought they might find and all generally really helpful for showing me how to tweak things.

But the important thing was that a class of about 12 people, in which only 2 others even have read spec fic, everyone liked the characters, liked the setting, and wanted to read more.

Plus between my two pieces now I think I’ve got at least one convert since people are now asking for book suggestions if they want to start reading science fiction.  That right there is a huge win.

Of course, Universe, if you are listening, getting into Clarion (even though with my sudden hospital bills I probably can’t afford to go) and getting Space Bones published would be a big win too.  You know. If you’re bored, Universe.

Back to working on Prince Called Courage.  I’m about half done with the novella, I think.

Let Me Explain

No wait, there is too much.  Let me sum up…

So far my workshop class this term is going far better though I’ve discovered sort of alarmingly that I really don’t like workshopping other people’s work (selfish as that sounds).  It often devolves to arguing semantics, which is fun for a while, but week after week?  Also, there was one story turned in by a published author that I didn’t actually do a critique response on because I found the writing and story impossibly boring.  Not bad, just completely uninteresting in pretty much all ways.  I couldn’t think of a nice way to say this, so I didn’t say anything.

And I just finished up my Clarion West application and sent it in.  I formatted the two stories I wanted to send and realized that in the different font they were pages longer than they had been.  So I had to choose between the two.  I finally settled on Space Bones since I think the character interaction and dialogue is probably sharper than in Delilah.  Also, the plot is more ambiguous and less biblically inevitable (as one friend put it).  So there’s that.  This is going to be the longest month ever, isn’t it?  I’m not sure I dig the whole submitting thing.

So, to sum up:

I hate wait.  Also, Nobu, finish the damn novel.

That’s all.