I intend to write up a nice long and thoughtful post about the process of writing this novel.
Since I just finished it in one marathon session, I think that post can wait.
For now, all you get is my YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Done. Too short, probably a hideous mess that no one will ever want to read, but done. Done.
Hey, there’s a reason they call it a rough draft, and that editing was invented.
But hey. Done.
I’ve been reading over all the comments I’ve ever gotten on my writing. Between the MFA classes, the editor comments on rejections, and the two con workshops I’ve done (not to mention the great help my friends give as well), that’s actually a ton of feedback. And I see a pattern, a very annoying pattern.
I think I’m weak at plot. Not that I don’t grasp what plot is, or that my stories exactly lack it, but the kinds of comments I often get involve the structure of how and why things are happening, or my personal favorite (heh) comment that recurs a lot which is “this would make a great chapter of a novel”. When my plots are strongest, they reach too far and involve too much for the short story frame. When they aren’t, well, readers are confused by what’s happening or don’t feel that the ending was satisfying or inevitable.
This means I gotta roll up my proverbial sleeves and work on this. I don’t think it’s necessarily an issue in my novels since the longer form lends itself to plot development (plus I outline constantly with novels). My short stories need work. I’m not going to worry too much about the ones already written. They are what they are and if I can patch them up I will, but going forward with the next few shorts, I’m going to work damn hard on making the structure sound. There are plenty of formulas for plot out there. I don’t tend to follow them, instead letting the story develop on its own. Maybe I’ve strayed too far, however. Clearly something isn’t working because my stories are getting the “close but no” response. The comments from others hint that it might be plotting issues.
The good news is that this is something I think will be reasonably easy to fix. It’s just going to take me staying mindful of where a story is going. I think the next few short stories I’m going to do mini-outlines for, same as I do for my novels just on a smaller scale. I’ll probably outline scene by scene and see what results. I may also try to fit some of my ideas to plot structures (likable hero overcomes seemingly insurmountable odds, or hero tries, makes it worse, tries and fails even worse, then finally succeeds, or one of those formulas that abound out there for story structure).
It’s weird. I used to hate writing dialogue and I felt like every character I had sounded the same. I started working hard to build characters up and get my dialogue to sound normal. Soon enough, I started getting comments on stories that my dialogue and characterization were great. Then it was that my beginnings were always rough. So I started working on beginnings (still am, I think beginnings will always be rough for me since I tend to write my way into the story). Sometimes I feel like my writing is this monstrous creation. I poke at the weaker parts and build them up, then realize that other parts are now weaker and my monster is lopsided again. So I poke at those parts, rinse, repeat. It looks like plotting is the next weak limb that needs beefing up.
The novel is progressing. I reread a few chapters (and ended up doing some line editing since eeks I’m wordy in my rough drafts) and am part way into the next chapter. I’m guessing I’ll finish somewhere close to 100k words, maybe a little over since I’ve got some scenes to add to help weave it all together. I’m rebuilding my writing momentum and optimistically hope that I can get back up to a chapter a day by the end of the week. I need to sit down with the outline tomorrow and update it with the new scenes I’m imagining for the end of each of the upcoming chapters. It’s tough to split the main characters up since the main plot right now only pertains to one of them, but I think as a reader I’d want to know what’s going on with the other two during this time, plus I need to show the passage of time since three years are about to pass but for the main character it’s going to seem more like a few weeks. I can do this. I’ve passed the half-way point, deep into the murky middle of the story. It’s a linear story, no real twists or turns here, just a horrible climax to build to and a bittersweet ending. Head down, keep writing.
Another friendly rejection bringing total to 16, 484 left to go.
I’ve started work on Chwedl again and have realized why I quit in the first place. I’ve written my character into a situation where there are no good outs. Every solution I can think of involves either a little hand-waving, or her getting outside help. While it is very in keeping with the fairytale motif to have her helped by ravens or selkies or whatever, I want her to stand out as clever and resourceful. That means not waiting around for something to present an easy solution for her.
The good news is I opened the question of what to do to my facebook friends (go go gadget internet) and I think I see the underlying problem now. She wasn’t clever at all at the beginning when she was assigned this task and didn’t ask the right questions. So… rewriting! It’s amazing how many of my writing plot issues are solved through going back and fixing earlier stupid. Now, to think about how to keep the Fey character realistic in her answers since she’s going to be as squirrely as possible but anything she says has to be the truth (though not, of course, the whole truth).
Woo, I think I solved it! In the process of writing this post I think I came up with a solution that lets everyone be exactly who they are and still makes it tough for my main character without making it impossible or super tedious (who wants to read an entire chapter of a person sorting rocks? I don’t really want to write it either…).
I read an interview with Jay Lake over at SF Signal (full is here) where he mentions that novels take courage. I totally agree. I love writing short stories. I get to jump in and then be done before I have to worry too much about things. I can tinker with a short story through 10 drafts if I want and it won’t take me years. Novels are different. So many threads to hang onto, characters to keep consistent, words to read over… I’m trying to be brave. I want to tell this story, to finish this novel and get it right. This is my second attempt at a novel. I don’t know if I’ll get it right, but I know at least that I can finish something of length. It’s a start.
All right, now that I’ve blogged my way unstuck, it’s time to go change stones into boulders and rewrite a conversation.
It may take courage, but damn, my day job doesn’t suck.
Finally started a new short story, one of three I intend to write this month. It’s going to be a bit of a challenge because I’m trying to keep it under 4k words and write about two star-crossed lovers on a dying Earth who happen to be teenaged boys. It’s different, but I feel like writing a love story. It will get me back in the mood to work on Chwedl, or something.
To write the beginning I ended up watching rocket take-offs on youtube. For research. Really.
And people wonder why I choose to write science fiction and fantasy? Heh.
Now to find that awesome article in one of my Analogs’ about lunar bases and space stations. And figure out how I want this story to end.
I’ve been catching up on my issues of Analog and Weird Tales. Often times I find Analog stories to be too technical for me to engage and Weird Tales stories too ‘horror’. I prefer stories that focus on character first and everything else second (yes, I’ll even forgive a lack of coherent plot if the character issues drag me in enough).
However, I found two stories so far that are made of so much awesome I have to share how much I loved them.
The first is a short piece in Weird Tales Nov/Dec 2008 titled “How to Play with Dolls” by Matthew Cheney. I assume looking at the length that this is flash fiction, which is a very hard length to do well in any genre. Cheney pulls it off beautifully. The story is engaging and haunting and full of just enough weirdness. The images are perfect and there’s the right balance of telling and emotion. He handles the underlying issues of the little girl in a way that isn’t overdone and the ending is strong, poignant even. Find it, read it. It’s flash at its best, in my opinion.
The story in Analog that caught my attention is in the June 2009 issue. “Attack of the Grub-Eaters” by Richard A. Lovett has a somewhat unfortunate title in that I read the title and winced. I had no idea what to expect. Then I saw the format of the story, which is in forum posts and winced more. When reading short stories, however, I always give a story at least two pages to keep me reading. It took less than that for me to be hooked in this story. By page three I actually stopped, went and got my husband, and started over reading it to him again (that was before I even got to some of the more awesome parts of the tale too). The framing of this story is totally unconventional, but it works. Hell, it better than works, I think it allows for the author to build tension and utilize dialogs in ways that a normal story structure wouldn’t. In parts it’s laugh out loud funny, in others I was reading the way I’d read a particularly juicy flame-war; that edge of the metaphorical seat “oh god what’s going to happen next…” sort of car-crash-can’t-look-away sensation. And thinking about it now, I guess “Home and Garden Saves Iowa” wouldn’t have been a great title either, though perhaps more apt. Screw the title. The story hardly needs it. I’m going to give this copy of Analog to my dad I think, since his mole killing competitions with our neighbors are the stuff of (small town) legend. Again, find the story and read it. I can’t gush enough.
All right, setting gooey fangirlness aside now, back to writing related stuff.
I posted a story in the JBU slush. I’ve lurked on that site a while, sometimes out of schadenfreude but mostly out of genuine curiosity about the way they do things since JBU is unconventional in many ways. I’d never posted a story for consideration for two reasons.
One, JBU likes optimistic and often lighter work. I don’t really write optimistic stuff. My stories are often about people trying to deal with bad things that don’t necessarily have a rosy resolution or explanation. After I wrote the story that became The Spacer’s Blade, I thought “hey, maybe this would work for them”. I didn’t post the story immediately after I wrote it, however, for reasons that lead me to reason number 2 of why I’ve never posted there.
JBU slush has some of the most blunt and to the quick critiquers of anywhere I’ve ever seen. In some ways it’s refreshing to not have to wade through a bunch of accolades that essentially mean nothing in terms of how to improve one’s writing. In other ways, I don’t know why anyone would put themselves through that process without first getting the story as far as they could on their own. Before this, I didn’t feel I had a story that was nearly up to snuff yet for that kind of criticism. I didn’t want to waste my and other people’s time with typos, loose sentence work, and other easily fixed but sloppy writing mistakes. (Caveat, this does by no means imply that I catch all that stuff in my various drafts. Errors sneak right past me all the time. I just try to make sure they have to roll a nat 20 to do it).
The story I posted is the fourth draft. It’s been through the sff online writing workshop and critiqued by four pros at Norwescon. And it still got mixed review at JBU. I’ve rewritten the beginning paragraphs for the third time now based on what I’ve been told. I’ve had two readers go over it and the third will get to it this weekend before I post the revision in the Slush. So what is technically version 2 for the slush and version 5 for my records will, in fact, have gone through three revisions post the revision I did based on comments before the JBU sees it again. I do this partly because I really want to be a professional writer, but also because once again, I don’t want to waste time with simple mistakes. I want to know what the readers think of the STORY, not get bogged down in the sentence level stuff.
That said, I’m not taking all commented advice. I can’t. It’s one of the things I’ve learned about the dangers of workshopping. Not everyone is going to like everything. A writer has to parse what advice will improve the story and what might improve it but turn it away from the original vision in the writer’s head. I know the story I’m trying to tell with The Spacer’s Blade. If in the end I work out the things that people point out that I agree are keeping it from being that vision (because, hey, it’s not there yet- I’m pretty hard on myself as a writer too) and the barflies still don’t think it’s what they want, that’s ok. Maybe it isn’t a fit for JBU. I think it could be, but I’m going to try to walk the fine line between what people want to read and the kinds of stories I want to tell.
And in the end, no matter how much I want to be published, if I’m not writing the stories that I want to tell, well, I’ve failed even so. I don’t think it’s an either/or. With enough work and practice and some more work, I think I can find that balance, that happy zone where what I’m writing is transmitting to the reader exactly the kind of pleasure that I get when I read awesome things (see above gushing, for example).
Now, back to editing something else.
I’m not a seat of the pants kind of writer, even when it comes to short stories. Now, mind you, I don’t outline for short stories (though I might jot down notes or lines that come to me). I definitely know where something is going when I sit down to write it. I do change my mind and write something else to make things make more sense when I have to. I imagine, however, that anyone watching my short story writing process would think I’m doing it on the fly.
This is because I write short stories in one or two sittings and hardly ever have notes (I usually do research as it comes up, thank you Google).
My short stories don’t start on the page. They start in my head and sometimes have a very long gestation period. Novels are the same way, though I tend to write up more notes when thinking about novels due to the sheer amount of stuff going on in my head when it comes to bigger projects.
First, there’s the spark. Whatever set off my mind with a “hey, this could be a good story”. From the spark I start to think about what it needs to fill it out, to bring it from cool character/idea/image/line of dialog etc… into being a full story/populated world. From there I decide if the idea is going to need a novel length to fill it out (ignoring here, for the moment, that one of the most common coments I get on my short stories is “hey, this would make an awesome novel” sigh) or if I can turn it into something shorter. Frankly, I prefer short stories because I like to just sit down and finish things. Also, rewriting fifteen pages is far easier than rewriting 300.
But my point is that I spend a great deal of time thinking about everything before it ever sees the page. I run through potential scenes, characters, what would or would not work in the particular world I’m inventing and why, and other useful questions like that. I sometimes even start composing in my head and run through different POVs and tenses to feel where I want to start a story.
And then there are the times that I call my version of Writer’s Block. I never run out of ideas, ever. However, I occasionally get stalled out because my brain won’t stop with the thinking and focus on something long enough for me to just write something. It’s why I haven’t been sleeping lately, and why I’ve done nothing but revise things for a few weeks now. Too many bloody ideas.
So I’m going to have to force-march my brain for now, I think. No starting or thinking about anything new before I’ve finished the following:
Sparks (fantasy short story), Prince Called Courage (fantasy novella), final edit of Monsters (fantasy short story), two thesis short stories (prewriting for my thesis novel), Chwedl draft (fantasy novel) and the rewrite of Casimir Hypogean (science fiction thriller novel). The ambitious part of me says I can totally do this by September. Suuure.
I’m going to do the short stories first, mainly becaues that means I’ll have eight or nine short stories out making the submission rounds while I hunker down to finish the novels. I want to be done with this all by September since starting my thesis novel early wouldn’t be a bad idea. Fortunately, ideas are imploding my brains but good when it comes to that novel, so at least it won’t be stalled due to lack of my head working on it. Which is different from Casimir Hypogean, the bane of my existence. I’m going to look at it as a learning experience and force myself to finish the rewrite. If I never touch it again after that, so be it, but I’ve come too far to give up now. It’ll take about 6-7 weeks of hard work to complete at this point. I can do it.
Rejection number 10 (form letter) came in yesterday. Time to send that story out somewhere else.
On the “dancing, not quite from rooftops” level of awesome, I queried about another story that had been in the ether fora couple months and found that they’re holding it for consideration/second opinions. I’m going to interpret this is a win, even if they don’t take the story. It means I’m getting past the first glance, which is a mark of improvement. Go me.
I have an edit of that story also, so I responded thanking them for letting me know where I stood and offered up the edit if they’d like to see it. I like both versions (one is cleaner since more eyes went over it) but who knows what they’ll want? Anyway, I’m psyched that I’m at least being considered.
Meanwhile, I’m working on the novella which will never sell. Seriously, who buys fantasy novellas? I’m going to try to keep it under 17k words so I can at least enter it in the ‘Writers of the Future’ contest. I just finished Ken Rand’s (may he RIP) “Ten Percent Solution” and intend to put his ideas into practice to reduce the draft of the novella to as short as I can get it without hurting the story.
Then I need to type up Sparks and finish it. I know where the story is going now, and the logistics of the fort. All that I need to do is add some kick ass fighting and I’ll have story. I really like the concept, but I’m not too sure I can write good fights. I think I’ll enlist my husband to help me keep things realistic while still awesome. There’s always a balance in fight scenes between cinematic kick-ass and “he did what with that sword?”
After Sparks and A Prince Called Courage are finished, I swear I’m going back to Chwedl. I haven’t added a single new word to the novel in months (though I did do a bit of editing of the first 60k words). Time to finish that baby so I can move on to finishing my Albetross (ie Casimir Hypogean).
All right. Back to work on Novella that Won’t Sell.
I did some editing on Delilah (alas, not before I sent my class the wrong version, whoops) and on Blade Bearer.
Being impatient about Space Bones’ fate, I decided to submit the other two stories out into the world. That way I can hang out and be impatient about multiple things which is far superior from awaiting the fate of one thing, no?
I guess once I’d popped my rejection cherry, so to speak, it is easier the second time. I think I sent the stories to markets that will like them, but there’s no real way to know until and unless I get a response.
I did get a nice personal note from the editor of my college lit zine rejecting the two poems I sent them. Apparently they almost decided to publish one of them but couldn’t get a consensus on it. At least it was a personal rejection note and not a form letter (or the vast nothing I got last time I submitted to a college lit mag).
I’m somewhat disturbed by the hugely posititve response to my work that my workshop is giving me. I mean, I’m glad they’re liking spec fic, don’t get me wrong. However, I’m plagued as always by fears that I’ll never be good enough and the dischord between what people say about my writing and what I think about it is annoying. I did, however, sell a copy of “Snow Crash”, in a way since one guy went out and immediately bought it due to liking my work. I’m pretty happy about that. (I am not, in any way, comparing my work to that book, just so ya’ll know).
I think it’s just going to be double hard for me not to take rejection personally and clam all up inside and stop submitting anywhere. I know I need to be in the mindset of “sweet! 402 left to go”, but it’s easier thought than felt.
I think the cure for this is writing more stuff. I think that’s likely the cure for a lot of things. I should bring back short story Monday.
My writing class workshopped the first three chapters of Casimir Hypogean and I’m a bit surprised by the response. It was generally liked, a few even liked it better than Space Bones (the short story I had them read last time they workshopped me). The criticism I got was fairly mild stuff compared to the huge problems I thought they might find and all generally really helpful for showing me how to tweak things.
But the important thing was that a class of about 12 people, in which only 2 others even have read spec fic, everyone liked the characters, liked the setting, and wanted to read more.
Plus between my two pieces now I think I’ve got at least one convert since people are now asking for book suggestions if they want to start reading science fiction. That right there is a huge win.
Of course, Universe, if you are listening, getting into Clarion (even though with my sudden hospital bills I probably can’t afford to go) and getting Space Bones published would be a big win too. You know. If you’re bored, Universe.
Back to working on Prince Called Courage. I’m about half done with the novella, I think.
Heh, wordpress looks strange again. Grr.
Anyway, I survived first term of graduate school. It was underwhelming. Hopefully next term will go better.
I’ve decided to attend a couple of cons (specifically geared towards spec fic/writing/etc…). The deadline for the workshops for the first con I’m going to is the 14th of this month, so I’d better get my ass in gear. I think I’ll send them Bladebearer because it’s a complex little story and has some weird problems I could use perspective on. You can send two pieces, so I’m tempted to send in the first 3 chapters of Casimir Hypogean. I still hate that novel, but maybe feedback on it would somehow make the path clearer. Or at least give me a few better ideas of what is going so wrong with the whole thing. I’d have to write up a synopsis, however, which could prove problematic since I’ve never written one. It’d be a learning experience. Well, we’ll see how far I get this week. Otherwise I’ll send Monsters as my second piece.
The second con is World Con, which is in Montreal this year. I’ve always wanted to go to Montreal, and I think Chwedl will be in at least polished draft form by then and (cross fingers?) ready for agent hunting, so it’ll give me something to really peddle around at the con. Plus the panels should be informative and I’ll get to vote for the Hugo winners. Which means my summer will be full of reading the nominated books, never a bad thing.
I’m also, this month, polishing Space Bones and Delilah for my application to Clarion West. I’m terrified I won’t get in and I’m terrified I will. It’s like a perfect lose lose situation. But really, I want to go. I think it would be fantastic and horrifying and awesome all at once. Besides, then I could stalk EBear in person (note, this is a joke, unless you consider reading someone’s lj stalking…). I’m just jealous that she has a cat. Seriously. Stupid renting with no pets rule. Moving on… I think that the two aforementioned stories have the best shot of showing how I write. They’re also now the most polished of my spec lit pieces and Delilah is still one of my favorite things I’ve written ever. It might be a risk considering the very Christian overtones and the linear inevitability of the plot, but I hope that the characters and stylistic tones will override that and punish the reader with its awesomeness. Seriously, I like that story. And Space Bones has grown on me. I wrote it mostly for the title at first, but after about four drafts I finally feel a connection to what is going on in the story and to the characters. Hopefully this will all translate into the Clarion peeps thinking I’m whatever they’re looking for.
By the end of December I hope to have the draft of Chwedl complete. Then comes the editing and pain, but I already see things I can do to help it along. This novel, to repeat myself, is nothing like Casimir Hypogean. It’s such a breeze to write and the language flows nicely instead of feeling forced and choppy as all hell. I wonder if I haven’t written the world of Casimir Hypogean too bleak, its characters too unsympathetic. After all, why should a reader care about chars who hardly care about themselves? It’s a strange dilemna. More reason probably for why I should edit up those first 3 chapters of the rewrite and send them off for critique. Maybe the novel is dead and I’m still pining for a ghost of a thing that shouldn’t be. It’s hard to tell such from my close perspective.
