Note To Self
I give you permission to screw up this draft. I give you permission to write 100,000 words and realize that in the end product you will wind up using only 10.
Self, you also have permission to hate the first few pages. Or even the first few chapters. I will understand that sometimes it takes time to get warmed up, time to sink into a world entirely of our own creation. I give you permission to stumble in your first steps as long as you are able to dust off your skinned sentences, your twisted phrasing, and keep going. Keep going, Self.
The fact that if you fail entirely, no one will ever see this is not a curse. This is a gift. Right now you possess the complete freedom of having nothing to lose. Self, you have permission to lose the battles you must in order to win your wars. Today there are no deadlines, no dark clouds, no bad grades.
Scream. Pound your fists on the keyboard. Break pencils. Break rules of grammar. Break the English language if it helps you feel better. If it keeps you going. (Caveat: please try not to break the computer…).
Use bribery without shame.
You have my permission to fail, Self. Use it. Fail it.
Just, you know, write the damn draft first.
Thank you for your consideration,